Wrong Question

I remember four years ago sitting in a Dr's office and on the edge of tears wondering, "why is this happenning to me?" I had just been told that I needed major back surgery and it would take a few months to recover from it. The timing seemed all wrong. We were getting close to leaving for Omaha to come start the church plant. Surely God wanted to heal me. Many people prayed and I continued to believe, but on October 31, 2003 I still went under the knife and spent the next 5 weeks in recovery - and another 8 weeks in rehab.

Four years later and I have just went under the scope for my knee - definitely not as bad as the knife in 03 - and I have realized something important. Whenever we are forced to endure hard times, it's an opportunity to ask an important question - "God, what do you want to teach me through this?" Besides, back and knee surgery seem like nothing to the 5 year old enduring kemotherapy for leukemia. We will all have pain, suffering, difficult emotional times, and unusual circumstances, but instead of crying out "why me," we need to ask "what now?"

This doesn't rule out a miracle. It doesn't mean we accept what's going on as a permanent reality. No, it means we have to begin to search for the divine purpose. Is God teaching me something through this? Is he revealing something that I wouldn't have seen otherwise? Does he want to use this as a chance to witness to someone? During our tough times or at the close of them, God always has something amazing in store.

I have already grown through my experience on crutches and who knows what God will do in the next 3 weeks. I pray that God continues to use my bum knee for his purpose. And that I will never stop asking, "God, what now."