Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Wrong Question

I remember four years ago sitting in a Dr's office and on the edge of tears wondering, "why is this happenning to me?" I had just been told that I needed major back surgery and it would take a few months to recover from it. The timing seemed all wrong. We were getting close to leaving for Omaha to come start the church plant. Surely God wanted to heal me. Many people prayed and I continued to believe, but on October 31, 2003 I still went under the knife and spent the next 5 weeks in recovery - and another 8 weeks in rehab.

Four years later and I have just went under the scope for my knee - definitely not as bad as the knife in 03 - and I have realized something important. Whenever we are forced to endure hard times, it's an opportunity to ask an important question - "God, what do you want to teach me through this?" Besides, back and knee surgery seem like nothing to the 5 year old enduring kemotherapy for leukemia. We will all have pain, suffering, difficult emotional times, and unusual circumstances, but instead of crying out "why me," we need to ask "what now?"

This doesn't rule out a miracle. It doesn't mean we accept what's going on as a permanent reality. No, it means we have to begin to search for the divine purpose. Is God teaching me something through this? Is he revealing something that I wouldn't have seen otherwise? Does he want to use this as a chance to witness to someone? During our tough times or at the close of them, God always has something amazing in store.

I have already grown through my experience on crutches and who knows what God will do in the next 3 weeks. I pray that God continues to use my bum knee for his purpose. And that I will never stop asking, "God, what now."

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

No Frogs for Me

I was reading Exodus 8 a few days ago and came upon the story of the plagues. The second plague that God unleashed on Egypt and Pharoh was that of the frogs. We are told that the Nile swarmed with frogs. They were literally everywhere. And when Moses gave Pharoh the choice of when to be relieved of this disaster, Pharoh said "tomorrow."

Now there is a dangerous word. Tomorrow. Instead of choosing to end the plague right away, Pharoh, in a fit of pride, chose to sleep with the frogs. Crazy, huh? Why not end it there? Why not admit defeat? Why not do the right thing right now? Such is the human condition - constantly putting off till tomorrow what we should be doing today.

As I reflected upon my own life, I began to rack up a long list of important things that I had put off. Yes, I have a good excuse right now to put some things off until later, but there is always some excuse readily available. One of those things was quite simple. For quite a while, I had wanted to have a family devotion time. Instead of the three of us reading our Bible's and praying separately, I thought it would be best to set a time for all of us to spend that time together.

It was time to stop saying "tomorrow" and make it happen. So, on Sunday night, we all had our Bibles and read together. We closed our time with a prayer. Monday night came, and at 8:30 (our designated time), we came together again for time with God. It felt good to stop saying tomorrow. It felt good to do the right thing today.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Breaking News

Yesterday afternoon was like every other rehab day for me. After eating lunch, I laid down and strapped my knee in the "legasus" - a machine that slowly raises and lowers my knee to a 70 degree angle. The Dr. wants my leg in there for 6 hours a day. Yes, I said 6 hours. So, I read for a while, then became a bit bored and turned on the tv. Immediately, I began to read the "breaking news" across the bottom of the screen. The news that Steve Pederson was fired as the AD at Nebraska.

I picked up the phone and called my brother in law as I knew he would want to hear the news. We spent time talking about the change and the others needed for the Husker program. I continued to watch as the Chancellor explained his decision, and then proceeded to answer 20 minutes of questions. Towards the end of his time at the mic, I stepped back from the situation and considered the amount of criticism that Pederson has endured. No doubt his decisions, personality, and the nature of his position brought on this criticism. But I can't imagine Pederson thought there would ever be a firesteve.com website.

That website had over 20,000 hits this past weekend, and upon hearing that, I had to check it out. But after watching the press conference, checking out the site, and really thinking about it, I wondered if the creator of that website would allow anyone to critique or judge his job, family, friendships or any other role in his life by the same measure he was judging Pederson - a man he probably has never even met. A man with a family. A man with emotions. A man with dreams.

The web designer, like countless other Husker fans who were posting on message boards and calling into radio shows, forgot about the person they were directing their venom towards. Sports do that to us. I have become caught up in my passion for a game or team and criticized someone because of it. But does that make it ok? That it's just sports?

The answer for me is no. Jesus was clear in Matthew 7 that we shouldn't judge others unless we want to be judged by the same measure. Now I doubt that my words directed at a tv screen in the heat of a game will be of eternal consequence. But I do know that a pattern of critical behavior can spread to other areas of my life and cause me to forget about the real person on the other side of my criticism. I don't want that to happen. And neither does God.

Monday, October 8, 2007

The Rental

I spent the day checking off the last "to do's" before my operation tomorrow (knee to be scoped). One of those things was to call the hospital and double check the time of the surgery and my preparations. The nurse told me a lot of things I already knew, but one of her last questions was something I hadn't covered. "Have you gotten your crutches?" I didn't know that I was suppose to get them. Since I haven't needed them before, I thought they would provide them. Oh well, the nurse instructed me to go to Bakers and rent them, so I did.

As I was hauling them to my car I remembered how much I was dreading having to use them. Just the word crutches has a negative stigma attached to it. But within moments of dreading the crutches, I also realized that it will be a good reminder of my own spiritual condition.

It's not easy to be totally dependant upon God. Before my journey of faith started, I was very independent. I wanted to do it all on my own. I wish I could say that I have learned my lesson, but I still like to take the reins and make it feel like I am in control.

To be totally dependent on God, though, is not like walking with crutches. Your not hobbled or laim. Rather, we can willingly share our joys, burdens, fears and problems with a God who is loving, powerful and gentle. "Come to me, all you who are wearied and burdened, and I will give you rest." Christ wants to both lead us and comfort us in our time of need. He will walk ahead of us and clear the trail, and when we get tired, he will let us lean on him, or better yet, carry us. If these crutches remind me of a God who will do that, then they are worth the hassel.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

More than enough

As I was eating dinner tonight and watching the news, I listened to the reporter interview the Omaha Food Bank about their shortage. The reporter explained that gas prices and lack of food drives in the summer have led to the shortage. Higher costs cause most people to just complain, while people who are already in need struggle to get by.
After listening, I went to my pantry and opened it. More than enough. Even with another big gas hike, we wouldn't go hungry. I then remembered the conversation that I had with the service tech on my furnace yesterday. We talked about the need for a more efficient and newer furnace (mine's 30 yrs old). But there are people who don't have any heat source going into this winter. I have more than enough.
This reminds me of one of the most challenging passages in scripture. "I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me." (Matt. 25:45)
Obviously we can't help everyone. But when we have more than enough, then we should move beyond our petty complaints and reach out and lend a hand. Next time I stress about a high bill or unexpected cost, I will go to my pantry. A little perspective never hurt.