Can I eat now?

About four months ago, my wife and I sat and talked with an Orthopedic Surgeon (the one who operated on my knee a few years ago) to find out the damage inflicted on her knee from the car accident last April. After he wiggled and pushed on it for a few seconds, we heard the dreaded words - "you have a torn ACL." We later scheduled her surgery for 7 weeks after delivery of our little girl. At the time, I knew that it would be interesting for us to have an infant, 5 yr old and a mommy on crutches. Little did I know, it would be more than interesting!
As doable as it sounded, the first 10 days after the surgery proved that I didn't always have enough hands, time or energy to keep up with the needs of three people. I remembered how to do laundry, cook and say "Yes, dear" more times in a day than I can remember. Because of this experience, I've gained a new perspective on being a dad and a parent. What surprised me is the effect it has had on my faith.
A few days ago, I fixed a meal for my son and a lactose free meal for my wife as well as helped set my daughter up for a nap. After I thought everyone was settled, I sat down to eat my enchallada meal only to be asked for to more things from my wife and son. Once I completed my tasks, I sat down again to eat and asked in frustration, "Can I eat now?"
With my belly full and some time to myself later that night, I realized my selfishness and reflected on Jesus words, "if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Most Christ followers would recognize and be able to quote this passage as it is central to the teachings of Jesus. But, as I discovered, quoting the passage and living it are two very different things.
A friend of mine recently commented on this passage and described the challenge as "intentionally putting yourself at a disadvantage." So, this would be like us constantly allowing others to cut in front of us while we are waiting in line for our wants and desires. In other words, denying yourself is admitting your wrong before the argument starts, making your "me time" into "her time," voluntarily giving up the remote control (yeah, that's tough), and asking "what can I help you with" BEFORE you have to say, "yes, dear."
This isn't easy for anyone but that's because its not natural. Normally we listen to ourselves first and wouldn't dare let someone ahead of us. Our needs, time, money and wants come first. Our culture drives that into our heads, and we have to - with God's strength - do all that we can to drive it back out. That's the battle. Self vs. Others. At some point we all want to be first in line. We all want to stop serving others and serve ourselves. We all want to just sit down and feed our own face.
Yea, we all have to eat and I needed nourishment from my enchalladas that night. But what if I would have sat quietly and reflected on the many three times my wife served me after surgeries? What if I would have shown my son an example of a joyful servant?
Obviously, I have a long way to go in this area. Most of us do. Even during our best days, its only a matter of time before our wants and desires push others out of the way. Just like shopping on Black Friday, our wants and desires want to be at the front of the line to get the best for ourselves. But, as Jesus taught, and more importantly, lived out, we have to be willing to push ourselves to the back of the line and let others go first.