Thanks for letting me smell your car!

When my wife told me we would be going to Swedish days in Holdrege, NE a few weeks ago, I began to wonder what kind of food they ate in Sweden.  Scandanavian fish?  Some type of blue and yellow dessert?  Turns out they eat burgers, brats, burritos and funnel cakes.  Frankly, I think I'd like the food in Sweden!

Surprisingly, the food they served at Swedish Days wasn't even the highlight of the event for me.  After the parade, we made our way to the town square.  Our first stop was the bouncy house for my son and his cousins (there was an age limit).  Once my son got his fix in air time, I knew where I was going next - the car show.  One half of the square was lined with classic cars.  I picked up a voting ballot (for the top 5) and began my trek along the street of dreams.

Mustangs, Chevelle's, Camaros and Vettes.  They were all represented well.  I came across an amazing 60's Firebird from Cozad, NE.  The owner was my age and had received the car for his 16th birthday from his Father.  I was a little jealous at first.  Then, I was thankful.  I had a GMC Truck when I was 16 and two speeding tickets in the first year.  A Firebird would have at least tripled that total.

After seeing most of the cars, I turned the corner to look at the last quarter of the show.  That's when I saw it.  A 1971 Mach I Mustang.  The same car that my older brother owned when he was in High School.  This one was royal blue and my brother's was competition orange.  Other than the color difference, it was the same car that I rode to school in from time to time when I was 6 and 7 years old.  Imagine that.  Being dropped off at elementary school in a 71 Mach I Mustang.  It didn't really help with the ladies, but what a rush!

I took a couple laps around the car, admiring the details and original body and look.  Then, without knowing what was in store for me, I stuck my head in the passenger side window.  It was unavoidable.  The smell of the original interior.  The combination of the leather seats and vinyl dashboard was unmistakable.  I literally had goosebumps.  It was if I was transported back to 1982.  I stepped away from the car and almost got a little emotional.  (Cars are one of the few things guys can get a little teary eyed about).

Quickly, I pulled it together and then shared the experience with the family.  They admired the car and my story, and my son decided it was enough to vote #2 for this vintage hot rod.  Before we moved on though, I had to thank the owner.  I stopped and asked the closest person in a lawn chair - a lady in her late fifties from rural Nebraska - who just happened to be the owner.  "Thanks for letting me smell your car," I said.  She smiled big as I explained the thick memories that rushed back into my mind with just one whiff.  She understood since she had purchased the car new, which gave her 40 years of these memories.  I thanked her once more and swiftly made my way to the last set of lesser cars so she wouldn't think I was some creepy guy smelling her car.  The smell and memories stayed with me most of the day, and even though I didn't get a funnel cake, it was definitely a good day.

As I gratefully reflected back on the Swedish Days car show, which, by the way, had no Swedish cars, I was thankful for a brother who took the time to drive me to school when I missed the bus (I'm sure it was occasionally intentional).  And for the amazing gifts of memory and sense of smell.  I mean, how awesome is it that one smell can take you back 30 years!  God's creative design never ceases to amaze me.  

"Promise Me this Won't Ruin Your Weekend"

So I had just woken up from my nap that I was taking in the passenger seat.  We were getting close to the food exit and since it was past supper time, I was ready for a pit stop.  The only thing on my mind was whether I should get a six inch or foot long.  Our family was taking a two day trip to West Nebraska for my wife's 15 year reunion, and I was looking forward to the mini-getaway and the chance to connect with family.
But then came the question.  As I wiped the sleep from my eyes, my wife asked me, "If I tell you something, will you promise me that you won't let it ruin your weekend?"  Now I was awake.  "Oh boy," I replied as I sat up in my seat.  "What is it?"  My wife then proceeded to tell me that earlier that day she learned that her company was having an important meeting the next day and it was very likely that her entire department would be cut.  Did Subway sell deli ham by the slice?  I had just lost my appetite.
A few years ago my wife showed me an article that listed the "recession proof jobs."  Mental Health, her field, was one of them.  Then, fourteen months ago, my wife's company filed for bankruptcy due to the State's delinquent payments.  But thankfully she was hired on at a new company four days later.  Afterwards, I thought that would be our one "job loss" story.  But here it was a year later and soon the news of another layoff would be delivered - my wife would be out of work in one month.
My reaction wasn't exactly reassuring.  Maybe my nap wasn't long enough because I quickly slipped into "I'm angry at life mode."  Perhaps you seen or experienced it before.  No smiling. Little conversation. And periodic shaking of the head.  My wife did her best to accentuate the positive and express her faith and trust in God.  But I was a pillar of frustration that would not be shaken.
After a restless night sleep, I rolled out of bed bright and early sometime past 9ish.  I knew that God and I were due for a talk.  I spent most of my prayer time venting my frustration and hurling familiar phrases like, "how could you" and "why now?"  Then I flipped my Bible to Psalm 71:1-3.  After reading, "Be my rock of refuge to which I can always go; give the command to save me; for you are my fortress," I broke down and really began listening for God's reassurance and direction.  I knew that I had no reason to be angry at life.  God was there in the midst of our life changing event.
But it wasn't until I resumed my study of Hebrews this week that God opened my eyes to something which I already knew.  It wasn't an "ah ha" moment.  Rather, it was an "oh yeah" moment (others might call it a "duh" moment).  Reading Hebrews 13:8, "Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever."  That's right.  The same faithful God who helped us through the first job loss was with us for job loss number two.  He hadn't forgot how to provide or comfort us.  And His amazing love and grace still covered us from head to toe.
How could I forget this?  Life's trials and uncertainties tend to shake our faith from time to time.  Honestly, it's not easy to have faith when the world around you cracks or crumbles.  But then again, I can't imagine going through something like this (or worse) without faith and the lasting hope that only can be found in Christ.  I can't imagine being angry and frustrated with life for more than one evening.  And I certainly don't want every piece of bad news to ruin my weekends.
Thankfully this news didn't ruin our weekend and my wife had another job offer this week.  There will still be a brief time of unemployment and it won't be without stress, but God was faithful...again.  We have yet another reason to be thankful, and one more experience that will strengthen our faith.  Even more, we have a reminder of why we must share that faith - because too many people experience these same angry and frustrated times without the hope found in the "oh yeah" moment.

Keep your eye on the ball...and everything else.

Last Saturday was my son's second baseball game.  He is in the coach pitch league where the kids are given three at bats and then a swing off the tee.  There's no keeping score and everybody gets to bat.  With the kids just trying to learn the basics, a ground ball turns into a melee with 5-6 kids trying to pick it up and chuck it to first.
And that is why my son's defensive play was so incredible.  Yes, I'm biased but there is no doubt that it was the best play of the game.  Ask anybody, and if they say different, I want to know who they are.
My son was playing P/3B, the hybrid position that he has claimed his own.  It's where most of the action is.     With him being so close to the batter, I urge him to keep his eye on the ball and be ready.  With those instructions fresh in his mind, a sharp bouncer came right at him.  It hit him directly in the chest and then fell nicely into his glove.  Not taking anytime to celebrate, Jackson turned to throw the ball to first and ran.  That's right, he started to run, just as every other fielder had been doing, towards first with the ball cocked and ready to throw once the distance was manageable.
But after a handful of strides, my son checked to see the status of the batter.  That's when he had a light bulb moment - "I'm running faster than him!"  He veered toward the baserunner and rightly tagged him out.  Even the opposing team's coach (who was pitching) gave him a high five and proclaimed, "awesome" as Jackson gave the ball back.
As we talked about this on the way home, Jackson summarized the play for my wife (who was on nap duty in the car) by proclaiming, "I just realized that I was faster than the runner so I went and tagged him out."  Although we have been trying, like all the other parents, to get him to throw without running to first, this play was worthy of affirmation.  The play itself was great, but his field awareness was especially good.  Because the key to baseball is to keep your eye on the ball and everything else.
I guess that's what the Apostle Paul was talking about with our spiritual lives in Ephesians 6:13 when he said, "Keep your eyes open."  Spiritual awareness is something that we often overlook.  Prayer, being a part of the Church, and studying scripture play important roles in our life changing relationship with Christ; just like keeping your eye on the ball.
But we also have to be aware of what's happening in our culture, our family and relationships.  Ask good questions and be prepared to answer tough ones that will come our way.  This is where wisdom kicks in.  Like Ephesians 5 says, "Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise."  We must stop, look around and think before we act or speak.  When we do so, I believe people will have to take notice and proclaim "awesome."  

Kung Fu Peace

On Tuesday my son and I enjoyed the second installment of Kung Fu Panda 2 at the Aksarben theatre.  It was $1 popcorn and pop Tuesday so our hands were full of buttered goodness and our mouths were full of laughter as "Po" the Dragon Warrior battled "Lord Shin" of the Peacock Clan and his weapon of destruction.  The action and humor were expected but the lesson on peace was a pleasant surprise.  Po wasn't in search of just victory, but also inner peace as he attempted to discover the reason for his parent's disappearance.  
The lesson and affirmation that Po receives at the end are positive and ample justification for inner peace.  But yesterday my mind began to dwell on the peace that Paul talks about in Philippians 4:6-7.  Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 
The peace that Po seeks out is one that is beneficial but limited.  It puts to rest our anxiousness concerning specific situations for a limited period of time.  Once we achieve that peace it is the result of our own efforts.  Either by accepting our circumstances in a positive perspective or by controlling our emotions, our efforts direct us to this place of inner tranquility.  
This type of peace is achieved in many ways in our society.  Exercise, yoga, meditation, counseling, solitude and even Kung Fu.  The list goes on.  The roots of this approach can be found in ancient eastern philosophies as well as western philosophies, such as the Greek Stoicism that emerged in the 3rd century BC.  It taught the development of of self-control and virtue as a means for overcoming self-destructive emotions.  
Some have suggested that there is a hint of Stoicism in Paul's language in Philippians 4:6-7 since Paul spent a great deal of time among the philosophers in Athens (see Acts 17).  But the reality is, the peace that Paul proclaims in this passage surpasses anything that we can accomplish on this earth.  
Paul is clear that this is not just another philosophy when he uses the phrase "exceeds anything we can understand."  The original Greek for "understand" is "reason in the narrower sense."  Let's face it, our understanding of peace is quite narrow no matter how we achieve it on this earth.  But the peace found in Christ transcends anything we can comprehend - and the best part is, it lasts.  It's not temporary or limited to specific life situations or seasons.  
What separates the Philippians peace from the peace that Po finds in Kung Fu is it's source.  Paul uses the phrase "in Christ" 51 times in his various letters of the New Testament.  This phrase is so common for Paul because it is his one and only power source.  It's no longer himself or religion as he notes in Philippians 3 - "though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could."  He realized that way of life brought little or no peace at all.  It was "in Christ" where he discovered a peace that his mind could not wrap itself around.
I'm sure if Paul were here today he would have enjoyed Jack Black's humor in this sequel and a little "Kung Fu Fighting."  But he would have disagreed with Po's teacher "Master Shifu," the wise old red panda.  True and lasting inner Peace is not found here on earth.  It's only found "in Christ."
     

Oprah's Asterisk

After 25 years, today is the last time the Oprah Winfrey show will be aired.  For some that might be sad while others are breathing a sigh of relief.  Whatever camp you fall into, everyone would agree that Oprah has significantly influenced our culture (just see the 2008 election).  No doubt she is talented, driven and truly cares about people.  Although I have had my fair share of angst with some of Oprah's stances and promotions, she has raised awareness about important issues such as child abuse, health and wellness concerns and much more.  
Now you may be wondering, "does this guy tivo the Oprah Show everyday or something?"  No, I'm not a closet Oprah fan, but my wife has recorded the show for a few years now and watches the episodes that interest her.  In the process, I've been roped into watching some of her interviews.  
Last week, in fact, I found myself sitting down to watch her second interview with James Frey.  Frey is the author of the memoir, "A Million Little Pieces."  After receiving the seal of approval from Oprah (and the millions of readers that accompany it), it was revealed that Frey had embellished critical parts of his memoir to make it more interesting to readers.  This led to a 2006 interview where Oprah reamed Frey and the publisher for allowing this to happen and for subsequently embarrassing her.  
On May 16, Oprah sat down with Frey to apologize for her treatment of him on the show five years ago and give him yet another opportunity to explain himself.   I was definitely interested in this interview because although Oprah was rather rough on Frey in the first interview (and caught some heat for doing so), I still feel that Frey needed a heavy dose of truth since he essentially deceived people with his story in order to achieve success and make a name for himself as an author.    
Frey's explanations for his actions were underwhelming and predictable in the interview.  "I think most authors do this," is a good summation of Frey's response.  The part of the interview that was most intriguing was one of Oprah's last statements to Frey.  I had to stop and write it down.  Here it is in its entirety:


"I know everybody is acting and behaving in their life according to where they are in their own evolutionary process.  Wherever you are.  All of us are in different spaces and nobody has the right to judge anybody else and where they are in their path."


With all her success and positive influence, these statements have frustrated me the most about Oprah. Many times I've heard this type of commentary from Oprah and told my wife to turn her off.  Because of her power and influence, she has been given a pass on whatever she says about morality, religion and life.  Thus, the promotion of her philosophies like the one in this quote is a giant asterisk next to all that she has accomplished - because she has endorsed to millions a mixed bag of spirituality and postmodern morality.  
Now this particular statement does have a context, which I have already given.  But since Oprah uses the words "everybody" and "anybody," I know that she is not limiting it to James Frey.  Her words were all inclusive so that James Frey and anyone watching could buy in to her own philosophy on life.  
After grabbing a scrap of paper and rewinding a few times to copy this quote down, I immediately began to wonder what would happen if this quote were applied historically, morally and spiritually?  First, the historical implications would be disastrous.  Could you imagine if people responded to Hitler's Third Reich with that statement?  How about the issue of segregation in the 50's and 60's?  Or even more recently, the destructive Bernie Madoff who swindled billions from innocent people?  Obviously, Oprah wouldn't apply her philosophy to those situations.  Most would agree that these situations are clearly evil and those individuals and groups were on the wrong path and deserve to be judged and punished.  Hindsight is pretty simple though.  It's when we approach the present day that things get sticky.
Let's shift our attention to the moral implications then.  What if the Golden Rule - often accepted as a good standard for morality - were substituted with the Oprah rule?  That is, "everybody is acting and behaving in their life according to where they are in their own evolutionary process, so no one can be judged.  Right and wrong are decided by your individual space."  Believe it or not, we are already there.  It's the ever popular, "truth is in the eye of the the beholder."  Or for Frey, it was his belief that "most authors do this."  There is no absolute right and no absolute wrong.  But here is where the contradictions start piling up.  As a victim of child abuse, she would never apply this philosophy to predators and abusive parents.  Yet still Oprah has bought into the postmodern idea that your standards and beliefs can shift from one situation or individual to the next.  I would suspect Oprah would defend her statement by claiming that everyone and anybody would understand that those situations (abuse, murder, etc.) wouldn't apply.  This is the unproven assumption that every reasonable person would not apply your individualized morality to behaviors that are obviously wrong.  But how could they be wrong?  They are in their own "evolutionary process."
How about, "Treat others how you want to be treated" and taking responsibility for your actions?  I would regain respect for author James Frey if he would have pulled all his books from the shelves and refunded everyone who purchased the book.  Instead, he has profited from his deception, excused it and was able to promote his new book, "The Last Testament of the Holy Bible" on Oprah's show last week.  Frey wasn't judged by Oprah.  He was awarded for his behavior!
As silly as Oprah's comment is, it really should not be surprising.  Two thousand years ago Paul warned of this type of influence in his second letter to Timothy: "For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear.  They will reject the truth and chase after myths" (4:3-4).  "Wherever you are," pretty much sums up Oprah's spirituality.  Scientology, New Age, Christianity or a combination of all three.  According to Oprah, there is no absolute morality or truth. To claim that would have alienated her from the Hollywood elite.  Unfortunately, that's what many people's itching ears want to hear.  And honestly, it saddens me that an extremely gifted and loving person like Oprah has delivered such a message, and equally disappointing that millions have listened to it.  
My sincere hope is that Oprah will return to her roots in Christ and that her listeners could hear the real truth. And wouldn't that be great?  Such an incredible voice proclaiming the one and only truth.  Now that's something I'd tivo.     

Costly

"One Million Workers. 90 Million iPhones. 17 Suicides. Should we care?" This was the cover of Wired magazine this month. The article chronicled the working conditions in China where iPhones are made. Interesting and surprising read. Or is it? We all know that the products we enjoy in this country - everything from our favorite shirt to the phone stuck to our hand - has the label "Made in China/Bangladesh/India" on it. We routinely ignore these labels. Even with stories like this one, we ponder for a moment and then conveniently forget the real cost of our stuff. These are countries where there are no mandatory posting of workers' rights, and the word union has little or no meaning. Let's face it. We love our stuff and the only cost we truly care about is what we see on our bank statement.

But the true cost of our stuff isn't the only area where we ignore the subtle costs that relate to the critical areas of life. What is the true cost of a husband regularly tuning out his wife in favor of Sportscenter? Intimacy. Growth. What is the true cost of busyness? Burnout. Stress. What is the true cost of three trips to McDonald's every week? Trips to the doctor. Angioplasty. Deep down we know that these possibilities can become realities if we continue ignoring the risks. But the cost of change is the most difficult for us to accept. Changing our behavior is not comfortable. It's painful and hard work. The idea sounds great, but when it costs us something, our excitement wains.

I guess that's what Jesus was talking about in Luke 14 when he said, "Sit down and count the cost." Deciding to follow him is a serious decision. Say yes to Christ and his teachings only if you are willing to embrace ALL of his teachings and weave them into the very fabric of your being. If you don't calculate the changes necessary, it will cost you. You will be frustrated, unfulfilled and disappointed. In the end, you won't change and everyone will see you as a fraud.

A life following Christ is one that embraces the cost of change. I cannot forget who made me, and certainly can't forget who transformed me. And when I begin to depart from Christ's teachings, mess up or forget my purpose, it is His grace and forgiveness that reshapes me once again. This is a costly process. It costs me my pride, my desires, my independence and more. I don't always give up those things in a timely fashion or without a fight, but when I do, it's worth it.

Just like Jesus' followers in Luke 14 needed wake up calls, so do we. Sometimes it's a doctor's visit. Other times it's a heart to heart with a loved one. Wired reported that once the suicides reached double digits, Apple decided they needed to change some working conditions. That's a costly wake up call. Fortunately, a Christ follower who is faithful in the community and prayer/devotional life has two advisors that will prevent such a costly wake up call. The first is the Holy Spirit who is our "Counselor" and will nudge us gently when we start to forget the cost of our actions. The other is our faith community, or as the New Testament consistently refers, the power of "one another." Fellow Christ followers must also nudge one another when they start down a path that will prove costly. God has built in these safeguards because He knows the difficult nature of counting the cost.

I guess that's what I love the most about this journey. Yea, it's costly. But I'm not walking alone. And as someone who lived life without Real Life Change before, I know the rewards are worth it!

The Church of Hate

A few nights ago, my wife and I were watching the news when they began covering the Supreme Court decision regarding activities of the Westboro Baptist Church. The group who has tormented and antagonized countless people. Most recently, their target has become the families of our fallen heroes. I understand why the Supreme Court protected their speech, although like the majority of people, found myself shaking my head once again at the ridiculously hateful methods of this so called Church. As I'm shaking my head, my wife asks, what's your stance on this church?

Up until that point, I hadn't thought about it much past my frustration and anger towards them. I had wondered what I would do if they showed up at a friends funeral or elsewhere in Omaha and I was nearby. I'm not a violent person, but honestly, I would have to hold myself back from beating the love of Jesus into them (many people have had to do this already). Seriously, I wouldn't act on that, but that's the first thing that comes to mind for me. But that is what hate can produce - anger and more sin.

The Apostle John said "For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another." (I John 3:11) Obviously, Westboro Baptist has no intention of spreading love. Their message of hate and judgement is light years away from the message of forgiveness, grace and transformation that Christ taught and lived. Even more, John also reminds us that "God is love." With this in mind, it is clear that not only is their message void of love, but also they themselves are not of God. In fact, the best characterization of what they represent is found in I John 3:14, where John reminds us that "whoever does not love abides in death." So it's rather a cruel irony that this group is spending so much time at funerals.

I doubt many would argue that Westboro Baptist is a group who is hateful and not of God. But I think the deeper issue is one that is so often overlooked. As I studied scripture and thought about this group, I began to think of the word "twisted." Ever had someone intentionally twist your words and used them to hurt someone else? That is what is happening here. The group from Westboro is deceptively and hatefully twisting God's Word - which has great power and truth - and in doing so, has inflected a great deal more hurt than what an ordinary Joe would. For the sake of their own agenda and publicity, they have carved out small slivers of scripture in order to justify their methods and message. But this twisted message is the worst kind. When the true Word of God is twisted and manipulated, the wounds often go deeper because the wounded then begin to wonder why people from a "church" would do this, and even more, why a God of love would allow this? But the reality is, the source of this deception is "the Father of Lies." Westboro Baptist is not working on behalf of God, but for Satan himself. And his goal is to steal, kill and destroy. Make no mistake, this group is on a mission of destruction by way of hate.

How do we respond? Not surprisingly, it starts with love, especially for those who are being wounded. Most of us can't do this personally, but we can pray for the families of soldiers and the many others who are targeted (the list is long). This is what Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians when he called believers to pray and "pull down strongholds." The other prayer is for Westboro. Yes, Jesus said that we must "love our enemies" and "pray for those who persecute you." Pray for the children who are growing up in this mess and for God's swift justice (Luke 18:18) to come down on the leaders of this group.

The most important thing to remember is that no matter how much hatred this group spews, the love of God "never fails" (I Cor. 13:13). The true followers of Christ must share His truth, grace and love. Then, God's light will shine through this darkness.